Yay! Best Bumper Stickers of 2024

Wasn’t this a fun year? Isn’t it great how everybody’s getting along with one another? Aren’t we all really looking forward to seeing what happens next?

Somehow we try to keep laughing. And that’s what we did this year with our bumper sticker slogans. There weren’t that many of them for presidential candidates, and I think I know why — would you want your car to be trashed (or run into) by somebody who doesn’t agree with you? I sure as hell never put a Harris sticker on my vehicle; it remained safe on my desk. (If I believed people vote based on the bumper stickers they see, OK, I’d have put it out there. A Harris yard sign was enough for me.)

But I did spot an eclectic collection of stickers, and some of them got me laughing (always a good thing, especially these days). Here now is my annual list of the best bumper stickers I spotted, with a little help from my friends.

My New Haven neighbor Jay Bright gets first dibs, with photo. Last year, after he read my “Best Bumper Stickers of 2023” essay, he kindly presented me with “Keep Honking I’m reading.”

From Craig O’Connell: “All People Are My People.” And: “Artificial Intelligence Is No Substitute For Genuine Humanity.”

Robin Caron saw two keepers on the same vehicle: “The Time Is Always Right to Do What Is Right — M.L.K.” and “Tax Yale.” She also saw: “Control Guns, Not Girls.”

My buddy Sam Goldenberg told me he keeps this message on his truck: “Held Together by Bumper Stickers.” Sam contributed two more; the first was a photo of Barack Obama with the question: “Miss Me Yet?” The other: “Gardening Is Cheaper Than Therapy — Plus You Get Tomatoes.” (Sam is an avid gardener.)

These are my favorites from my travels, almost all in Connecticut:

— “Read Books. Be Kind. Stay Weird.”

— “Cancer, You Picked the Wrong Bitch.”

— “Opinions!”

— “I Love My VCR.”

— “Purr More. Hiss Less.”

— “I’m For the Separation of Church and Hate.”

— “Questionable Driver.”

— “I See Dutch People.” (Alluding to the kid who kept saying “I see dead people” in the movie “The Sixth Sense.”)

— “Real Women Love Football. Smart Women Love the Giants.” (Still?)

— “Life Is Tough. Pray Hard.”

— “Don’t Grow Up. It’s a Trap.”

— “Tell Your Dog I Said Hi.”

— “Jimmy Carter For President.” (No, he’s NOT too old!)

Anybody out there who sees interesting/thoughtful/funny/provocative bumper stickers during the next 12 months is encouraged to tell me about it. I think there still will be room for some laughs.